How to Identify and Deal with Communal Narcissists in Your Life

Imagine you’re at a community event, and a volunteer tirelessly organizes every detail. They seem like a hero—until you notice their constant need for praise, the way they belittle others’ contributions, and their obsession with being the center of attention. Welcome to the perplexing world of communal narcissism. This form of narcissism blends seemingly selfless acts with a deep-seated craving for admiration. Let’s delve into its complexities, differences from other narcissistic traits, and how to navigate relationships with communal narcissists.

Defining Communal Narcissism

Communal narcissism is a subset of narcissistic personality disorder marked by an individual’s pursuit of admiration through perceived altruism and community involvement. Unlike grandiose narcissism, where individuals seek attention through dominance and self-aggrandizement, communal narcissists derive their narcissistic supply by being seen as moral and generous. They often engage in prosocial behaviors, not out of genuine concern, but to enhance their self-image and garner praise from others.

Differences from Other Forms of Narcissism

While grandiose narcissists boast about their intelligence and superiority, communal narcissists emphasize their moral righteousness and community contributions. They are driven by a desire to be recognized as the most compassionate and giving individuals, often overestimating their impact on social causes. This distinction is crucial, as it shapes their interactions and the strategies they use to manipulate their social environment.

Research on Communal Narcissism

The concept of communal narcissism gained traction following studies that highlighted its distinct characteristics. Research published in the Journal of Research in Personality supports the idea that communal narcissists seek validation through moralistic and communal pursuits. They believe they are more generous and community-oriented than others, even when this perception is not shared by those around them. This self-deception is a key feature, as communal narcissists often fail to recognize the disconnect between their self-image and reality.

  1. Freud’s Early Theories: Sigmund Freud’s work laid the groundwork for understanding narcissism, highlighting how self-centered behavior can mask deeper psychological needs. His theories have been expanded to include the communal variant, where altruism serves as the mask.

  2. Studies on Narcissistic Behavior: Research by Gebauer, Sedikides, Verplanken, and Maio (2012) identified communal narcissists as individuals who view themselves as exceptionally caring and moral, often to an exaggerated degree. Their studies utilized self-report questionnaires and behavioral observations to distinguish between genuine altruism and narcissistic altruism.

  3. Empathy and Self-Perception: Another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology examined the empathy levels of communal narcissists. It found that while they profess high empathy and compassion, their actual empathic concern for others is often shallow and contingent on receiving validation.

  4. Impact on Relationships: Research has also focused on the relational dynamics involving communal narcissists. Studies indicate that while they may initially attract admiration, their need for constant validation and tendency to manipulate can lead to strained relationships and conflicts over time.

  5. Cultural and Social Factors: The rise of social media has provided a new platform for communal narcissists. Studies have shown that communal narcissists use social media to broadcast their altruism, often curating their online presence to maximize admiration and approval from others. This behavior is reinforced by the culture of likes and shares, which can exacerbate their narcissistic tendencies.

  6. Neurological Insights: Recent advancements in neuroscience have started to explore the brain patterns of narcissists, including communal narcissists. Functional MRI (fMRI) studies have provided insights into how narcissistic traits manifest in the brain:
    • Self-Referential Processing: fMRI studies have shown that narcissists exhibit heightened activity in brain regions associated with self-referential processing, such as the medial prefrontal cortex. This increased activity suggests a preoccupation with self-image and how they are perceived by others.

    • Reward Systems: The brain’s reward system, particularly the ventral striatum, shows increased activity in narcissists when they receive positive feedback or recognition. This response is more pronounced in communal narcissists when they are praised for their perceived altruism and moral actions.

    • Empathy Deficits: Neuroscientific research has also identified structural and functional differences in brain regions associated with empathy, such as the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex. Communal narcissists may show reduced activation in these areas, correlating with their selective and conditional empathy.

    • Emotion Regulation: Studies indicate that narcissists, including communal narcissists, may have differences in brain areas involved in emotion regulation, such as the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. These differences can lead to difficulties in managing emotions, particularly when their self-image is threatened.

    • Cognitive Dissonance: The discomfort communal narcissists experience when their self-perception as altruistic and moral is challenged may also be linked to brain activity. Regions involved in cognitive control and conflict monitoring, like the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, show heightened activity, indicating an ongoing internal struggle to maintain their self-concept.

Signs of a Communal Narcissist

Identifying a communal narcissist can be challenging, as their actions initially appear benevolent. However, certain behaviors can reveal their true motives:

  1. Taking Credit: Communal narcissists are quick to take credit for charitable acts, even if their contribution was minimal. They often position themselves at the forefront of any project or initiative to ensure they receive the most recognition.

  2. Focused Altruism: They obsess over a single cause to the detriment of other responsibilities. This intense focus is not driven by genuine passion but by the potential for admiration and praise. They may neglect personal relationships and obligations, all in the name of their chosen cause.

  3. Validation Seeking: They constantly seek praise for their selfless actions. Social media is a common tool for communal narcissists to broadcast their good deeds, ensuring that every act of kindness is documented and praised by their followers.

  4. Selective Empathy: Their empathy is often selective, directed towards groups or causes that can enhance their reputation. They may show great compassion for widely recognized issues while ignoring or dismissing less glamorous causes.

  5. Manipulative Behavior: Communal narcissists use their perceived generosity to manipulate others. They may gaslight those who challenge them, framing any criticism as an attack on their noble efforts. This manipulation can make it difficult for others to see through their façade.

  6. Belittling Others: They view themselves as morally superior and criticize others who do not meet their high standards. This behavior can create a toxic environment, as they constantly judge and undermine those around them.

  7. Overestimating Contributions: Communal narcissists often overestimate their impact on communal efforts. They may believe they are the driving force behind every success, despite evidence to the contrary. This inflated sense of self-importance can lead to conflicts with others who feel their contributions are undervalued.

  8. Public Displays of Generosity: They are prone to making grand gestures of charity in public settings, where they are sure to be seen and praised. These displays are often more about the attention they garner than the actual help provided.

  9. Competition in Altruism: They engage in one-upmanship when it comes to altruistic acts. For a communal narcissist, being the “most” charitable, compassionate, or giving is a competitive sport. They may downplay others’ contributions to elevate their own status.

Dealing with Communal Narcissists

Navigating relationships with communal narcissists requires careful strategy. Here are some tips:

  1. Avoid Direct Confrontation: Challenging their behavior often leads to defensive reactions and narcissistic rage.
  2. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behaviors you will and will not tolerate.
  3. Stick to Your Values: Maintain your integrity and resist the urge to appease them by compromising your values.
  4. Self-Care: Protect your mental well-being by limiting interactions with the narcissist and prioritizing self-care.
  5. Document Interactions: Keeping a record of interactions can be helpful, especially if you need to discuss their behavior with others or seek professional advice.
  6. Seek Support: Engage with support groups or mental health professionals who can provide guidance and validation.
  7. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about communal narcissism can empower you to recognize and manage these relationships effectively.

 

Communal narcissism is a complex and often misunderstood form of narcissism that combines seemingly altruistic behaviors with self-serving motives. Recognizing and addressing these traits in oneself or others can lead to healthier relationships and a more genuine commitment to community service. Understanding the nuances of communal narcissism not only helps in dealing with individuals exhibiting these traits but also fosters a more empathetic and informed approach to human behavior.