Mini-bars aren’t what they used to be

The days of hotel minibars stocking overpriced softdrinks and miniature spirits are thankfully passing. These days you see a surprising range of things in your minibar – some which make you scratch your head, some that are a pleasant surprise.

computerisedminibarNo discussion of minibars however can proceed without stating my pet hate – computerised minibars where you get charged for even moving that can of coke to make way for some fresh milk or something. It bugs the living daylights out of me! I drink a lot of coffee and I do mean a lot. I also prefer fresh milk over that UHT stuff. So one of the things I do at any hotel is pick up some fresh milk. But when you have these stupid computerised minibars there’s nowhere to put that milk because if you move anything in the fridge so much as a millimetre you’re charged for it – no exceptions, no room for complaints.

OK, now I’ve got that off my chest, onto good minibars – or at least interesting ones.

Banyan Tree RinghaThe Loews Hotel in Denver , which does allow pets by the way, has gourmet dog biscuits & even dog food on their room-service menu. The proceeds from dog biscuit sales in their minibar apparently goes to a local dog protection society which makes the $10 or so they charge a little less ouchy.

Banyan Tree in Ringha China, which does happen to be at rather a high altitude, offers oxygen canisters in their minibar. Actually a bit of a buzz.

wmaldivesbikiniIf you go to W in the Maldives, you’ll find a purple bikini in your minibar. Interesting that most of them are micro-sized and wouldn’t fit an anorexic supermodel but they do have a “Bikini Butler” who will get you the right size – unless of course you’re my size then there is no “right size” for a bikini – ever!

blingh202The Trump Hotel in Chicago stocks some hard to find waters Welsh Tau, Australian Tasmanian Rain, 420, and Bling H20. Pricey but nice to see the contents of the minibar reflecting Trump’s well known position on alcohol.

The Hotel Victor in Miami introduced full-size in-room bars, stocked with a large range of liquor and “South Beach life-style essentials” like chilled eye masks.

The Ritz-Carlton in Atlanta has tapped into the female market by offering items like stockings and nail-polish remover, and for the men, black socks.

Omni Hotels have a range of soothing mini-spa treatments in-room, including sleep inducing CDs, lavender pillow sprays, eucalyptus bath salts and mini Zen gardens.

The big trend however is “Intimacy Kits” or as Miami’s Sagamore calls them “Shag Bags”. Its all part of this buzz which has been going around the upmarket hotels for the last 10 years or so that people go to hotels to have sex. You don’t want to know how many design meetings I’ve sat through where this uniquitous research is cited, though interestingly enough few can remember what the studies are actually called nor produce them. Frankly I’d like to personally shoot whoever the researcher was who did the study because whilst there is some truth in people being somewhat less restrained and more adventurous in a hotel its far from being the main thing people want to do – particularly if you’re alone!.

You don’t want to know the number of hotels & resorts I’ve checked into on my own, with a single booking, and not only found “Intimacy Kits” but also both sides of my bed turned down & two chocolates. OK, not complaining about the two chocolates but when I’ve commented on not needing both sides of the bed turned down because I’m on my own so many hotel staff have looked at me quizzically particularly in resorts. One actually came out and outright said, “really madam, we thought you would have found someone by now, do you need some assistance?”. After going 16 shades of pink and stammering explanations that I was there for meetings with the resort

pleasurechestPersonal rant aside, yes I know sex is a market in hotels and obviously people are prepared to spend money on “accessories”. NY’s 60 Thompson and Miami’s Sagamore have adopted “Sex Kits” in their minibars with what’s so prestigiously called “Shag Bags,”. In a similar vein the Montalembert in Paris has a “petite love box,” and the Hotel Gansevoort has ticklers!

The Mela Hotel in New York has an “Intimacy Kit” containing condoms, lubricant, and individually wrapped life savers.

The Gramercy Park has their Intimacy Kit but laughably enough also include a first-aid kit – makes you wonder who stays at the Gramercy 🙂

hardrockvegasThe Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas offers a range of erotica, playing cards and a book detailing different sexual positions to try.

The prices of these “Intimacy” items doesn’t come cheap. The assumption of the hotels must be that in the heat of the moment, people will spend almost anything to spice things up. Or alternatively they’re assuming the hotel is full of men with less than stellar prowess and need a hand?

thompsonlesspecialkitThompson Hotels have a Sensuality Kit in the fridge (no don’t ask me!) but its $195 for a personal lubricant, condoms, silk tie & a vibrator – again don’t ask me about the silk tie!

What perhaps takes the cake (or the vibrator in this case) was a recent tweet by Bryant Park Hotel on twitter who posted “One of our guests last night purchased $1975 from our pleasure chest sex toy menu – WOW”

So obviously it does work and I should just shut up and reconcile my opinions as those of a 40+ single mum with no imagination 🙂 Still can’t help thinking what on earth someone spent $1975 on though – must check out Bryant Park – wonder how helpful their Concierge is ……

 

Image Credits 1, 2, 4, 7